A Beat Up Car.

For the past few months, I have had to drive my dad's car. The thing is, it was having problems with the transmission, so I haven't had the chance to drive it as much, I've only been able to use it for work. Well, tonight it got even worse than it has ever been. Our family was coming home from church & this beat up car taught me a lesson, it showed me once again how good God is.
As soon as my dad & I said out loud how bad the car was, my whole family started praying. We just wanted to get home safe. It was scary because we had to go slow, so on many of the streets we were prime for an accident. At one point, we almost got into a crash with a car turning right, while we were going straight. The thing that impacted me so much about this car ride was, I would constantly tell my dad to take smaller streets or shortcuts & he would just say no, believing it was going to be fine. Eventually, the car pulled through & made it home safe. The only words that my dad spoke, besides responding to me, were "Thank God."

Why tell this story? Because I feel like I'm like the beat up car. I'll make a lot of ruckus, it will seem to me that I should take different paths, that I'll break down, that I'm prime to crash & fall; but even after all that I have to keep the faith. I have to pray & believe that God will be my home & that if I stay on a constant narrow road, I'll make it safe. That I have to stay calm & not worry for the worst. That His grace will show me His love & goodness. So, I thank God not only for coming to my rescue, but opening my eyes to the fact that if I seek & call on Him, He is always at my rescue.

O, my soul.

‎"You're rich in love, and You're slow to anger. Your name is great, and Your heart is kind. For all Your goodness I will keep on singing, ten thousand reasons for my heart to find. Bless the Lord, O my soul. I'll worship His holy name. Sing like never before, O my soul. I'll worship your holy name." ♥

This morning I woke up to worship and one of the songs played was 10,000 reasons, I loved every second I sang my heart out. I had been waiting for a chapel to impact me the way this morning did. It was Spanish chapel, of all things. It was like home, everything was in God's hands because I felt like everything spoken and sang was made for my life. The message was about how when Jesus and His disciples were in a boat during a storm, they woke Jesus up and He was kind of upset and told them they had little faith. There was a metaphor as to how the boat was our lives and the storm was our struggles. Then, the part that got to me was when the speaker said it startled Jesus because the disciples forgot that though the storm was occurring He was in the boat. It touched me because it happens often, I sometimes forget that through it all God is in my life, even if He seems to be "sleeping." Now, the song 10,000 reasons has now become one of my favorite songs because it shows how AMAZING God is and that there is ALWAYS a reason to worship His name.

I guess this morning goes back to church on Sunday. It was a blessing to finally hear my pastor preach. He urged us that we NEED to fall in love and stay in love with God. He also told us that every blessing, even the smallest are all blessings that the Lord is giving His people and it's time to start realizing that "we are like the farmer who was waiting for rain, the Lord has sent it, and it's time to harvest." The Lord says that He will continuously bless us, but it won't always be at the time we want these blessings to happen. I'm so thankful because I've realized that I can say I have been harvesting my blessings. One example was having to pay college tuition for a semester in tears, but somehow the Lord had blessed me with the finances. I have life, I have amazing people to call friends. I have found that I am worthy, that even though God's love for me is the only reason I am saved, it was enough to prove my worth. I noticed the change in my heart and it's definitely for the better. 

So I figured that with all of God's Greatness and all that is within me that has worth because of Christ, why not find 10,000 and more reasons to live for Him and worship Him, right? 

My Kids.

My kids are my church's youth group, but I call them my kid's because I help lead them and I'm pretty passionate about that. I love them all to death, even if sometimes I want to slap them all in the face. (Sarcasm! Haha.) Every single one of them are different, special and incredible people! Yes, they can be annoying or even really messed up, but I'm sure it's my love for them that lets me have patience with them every single time. I love teaching them about God's word. Every single time I pray they come to know Christ and that they accept Him as their Lord and Savior. I have a heart for them more than ever now because they always tell me they miss me, as their teacher. You see, I'm the only one that wants to get to know them, for who they are, not who they act like. I always ask them how their life is going, some have warmed up to me and tell me everything, some still give me simple responses. I also always try to come up with new activities for them to do, to show them life with Jesus is fun! I haven't taught them in about 2 months because of work, that saddens me. In the mean time, I'm preparing my heart because I know when the opportunity comes to have a normal Sunday and get to teach my kids, I want my heart to spill life into them. I know one thing, I'm tired of hearing how much I'm missed. Lord, I want to be there for them.

MY Sundays.

So I have come to the point where I really miss MY Sundays!

I would wake up late and eat whatever food my parents brought home. It was exciting because I would usually end up drinking an horchata. <3 While I ate lunch I would bond with my Papa and watch sports, that's always the best! Then it would come time to get ready for church, whether it be getting physically ready or also preparing a class for "my kids." (My church's youth group.) I miss them so much! When we got to church, I would set up my bass for the worship band's run through, I love playing in the worship band. Then, service time! It's usually pretty awesome, it always feels like home. Afterwards, the whole congregation stays for possibly an hour to socialize or there's sometimes food after. Then, it's time for home or sometimes I would go out with the church friends <3 who I also miss!!

Those are MY Sundays. Lord knows, I miss them.

One Thing Remains.

This past couple of weeks have drastically changed who I am. I feel like a completely different person, I feel like myself.

Lately, I have been seeking God, that's the only sure fire way I know how to find myself. I wake up every morning and pray for at least 15 minutes, that's absolutely necessary to me because it helps me stay connected. I have also been reading a book called Captivating. It's definitely helping me see that I'm a beautiful person, I am an image bearer of God, & that I am WORTHY. I have always rejected these things because as every human does, I fail God over & over again. It is beyond shocking that He actually forgives me, all I can do and must, is live my life loving and desiring Him. That I no longer am in control, that my life is no longer my life, for it is Christ who lives in me! I am excited to wake up in the mornings and hopefully shine, like I was created to. I have new dreams and motivations. I know if it's God's Will my dreams will become possible.

Throughout these past couple of weeks I listen to a song called One Thing Remains, daily. It's a song that gets to me every time, my spirit loves it and its truth; I am beyond thankful at how amazing, merciful, and forgiving God is.

"Your love never fails, it never gives up, it never runs out on me."

Hallelujah, for that.

I made a blog. :>

Disclaimer: Yes, I did totally copy the tv show title "My Life As Liz," it's a great show! (haha.)

Well, I made a blog because I had been contemplating it for a while. Then my friend Vanessa told me she made one and I found hers pretty interesting, I'm quite fond of it actually. Eventually I figured, I should just take action & make one, because it seems so convenient. I also thought it would be a good way to express myself when I don't feel like talking. The crazy thing is, I want this blog to be me, even the deepest parts of me.

I chose to call this blog, My Life as Rubi, because that's what I want to express to people: aspects of my life & life in general, the way I see it. I find it scary, but exciting at the same time. I doubt very many people will read my blog, but that's fine. Those that do, thanks for reading!